This week I start weekly visits. They will consist of a biophysical profile (BPP), nonstress test, and regular visit with the doctor. The BPP measures your baby’s heart rate, muscle tone, movement, breathing, and the amount of amniotic fluid around your baby. Megan scored an 8 out of 8 for this test. She measured right on with the due date, and they estimated her to weigh 5 lbs 5 oz right now. Which could put her at 7 to 7.5 lbs even two weeks early. This was amazing to me since Alyssa and Noah were both about 7 lbs at 40 weeks. The tech said that Megan looked great. I could see her heart pumping like crazy, one of the ventricles moving in and out as it moved blood, and even saw her abdomen moving as she breathed. She would not however look where we wanted her to get a good face-shot. But we did get a profile.

The external fetal heart monitoring is used in a nonstress test that records your baby’s heart rate while your baby is moving and not moving. I sat and listened to her heartbeat for 25 minutes. The chart showed a good heartrate and good movement. She even responded well to the contractions. I did not feel any of them, but the test showed I had 6 or 7 during this test.

All of this means I drove out of the parking garage with a smile on my face. Literally. I have felt that everything was going well, but today God really gave me the signs I wanted. So far, Megan is perfect.

The only change of plans is that we may do the amnio on Wednesday afternoon the 20th, then stay over night and begin induction Wed night or Thursday. Either way, I think her birthday will be Sept 21 – assuming her lungs are developed enough to induce.

That is a question I hear alot. I usually do the standard, non-feeling answer “Things are really good.” That is not really a lie, things are good. Megan is healthy, Alyssa is excited about her sister, the room is ready, and I am still fairly comfortable. But that is not the full answer. So here are some probably long awaited thoughts on all this. If you aren’t interested in the personal, you just want photos of Alyssa on her bike then stop reading. Then don’t check back for a while because it is too hot to take anymore pictures of her on the bike.

I feel good. Any 34 week pregnant woman would tell you they are done and ready for this to be over, but I do feel good. I am excited. I am excited for Megan, not just another baby. I am looking forward to her arrival as much as any mother could. I dream about holding her on my chest, rocking her to sleep, showing her off at church, bringing her home, watching her grow up with Alyssa . . .all of it. But those wonderful dreams of the future do not come without the negative thoughts too. What if she does not breath when she is born? What if I do not hear that amazing cry as she moves from her world to my world? What if she cannot come home with us? What if everything looks normal again, and she suffers the same trauma as Noah? What if I have to tell Alyssa that her sister had to go to heaven too? UGH, the list could go on.

What if? I don’t know. There are no guarantees in this world, and while I trust God completely, while I look to him for my strenth, I do not expect to be spared of pain in the future because of my pain in the past. I do not assume I will get a free ride through this delivery, and so I worry. I don’t know that I would even say worry… it is really more wonder. This fear does not take over my thoughts. It does not take over my day. But it is present. It is real.

Here is what I remember: “Lord, I’m amazed by You. How you love me. How wide. How deep. How great is Your love for me.”

Today was another visit. Megan’s heartbeat was in the 140s and I measured good. Here is the latest schedule.

Assuming everything is favorable, I will have an amniocentesis at 38 weeks. Probably, Thursday, Sept. 21st. It will take 2 hours for the test results to come back showing the lungs are mature, or not. If things look good with Megan’s lungs, I will be induced that day. If the test shows her lungs are not ready, I will wait another week and I will be induced at that point.

My prayer is that Megan is ready Sept 21st.

Everything is still good and on track. Weigh in, measurements, heartbeat and we are done. Though today, I did not let the Dr. out that easy. I am still probing about when induction will occur. Originally we had agreed that 39 weeks was good. Not too early for her, but not too late for me. However, the Dr. is going out of town on the day that we would schedule the induction. So, she says, “We could do it when I return, which would put you at 39 weeks and 2 days.” Most people would have probably been fine with that. But I did not like that . The closer I get to 40 weeks, the closer I get to a problem… in my mind anyway. Noah’s doctors said they believe his “event” occured a week to two weeks before delivery. Maybe that is true, maybe it is not, no one really knows. The only thing I know, is that I do not want to look back at Megan’s delivery wishing that I had induced earlier. So if I want to deliver before she goes out of town, it would be 38 weeks + and I will have to have an amnio to test lung maturity. There are some small risks to this procedure, but I think worth it for me. And if anything were to happen during the amnio, I would be in the hospital and Megan could be delivered. So for now, I am hoping for Sept 21.

On a lighter note, I got to feel Megan’s head today. Still can… she is right there. I asked Dr. if she was head down. After some searching on my belly she could not tell. But after I stood up, she pushed on my belly and said, “There is her head, she is still breech.” What? How can you just push and know that is her head? So I asked, “How do you know?” Her response. “I’m a professional.” Ha.

After the visit, we walked over to Hermann and saw the L&D and talked to someone for a bit about procedures, parking, hours, etc. I feel very comfortable about delivering there, and am looking forward to the process again.

Today was a good visit. I am a little past 28 weeks, and Megan was measuring right at 28 weeks, 3 days. She weighs about 2.5 lbs, and all measurements are perfect. That is good to hear. We will continue to meet every 2 weeks, and I will have several bio-physical ultrasounds toward the end. These will measure things like fluid level, tone of baby, blood flow… things like that. Today’s ultrasound looks at a few of those things but mostly is just to measure the baby. The bio-physical exams will reassure me a little more than the size does. Towards the end, I want to make sure everything is working in there like it should.

I am looking at an induction probably around 39 weeks, which is the last week of September.

Pictures of Megan from the inside and outside:

I was on a sewing frenzy last week. Megan’s crib and curtains are done, but there is still alot of work to do. Mostly just sorting.