So, yesterday was cycle #4 of the 1st round. Which means, I am half way done with chemotherapy. Seems like I should be celebrating, but I guess the 12 more weeks of round 2 and 6 weeks of radiation are dampering my excitement a bit. But honest, seriously, let me rejoice that I made it through the hardest part. The 1st round drugs are the harshest, the side effects have all taken effect and I am still kickin’. Still singing, still laughing, still here.  So, yes, I should pause and praise God for getting me this far. I will worry about tomorrow when it comes.

I guess I have missed the opportunity in updating my friends on the last few cycles. #2 and #3 were the toughest. I have not been sick or even nauseous, but just feeling down. Tired, wiped, not myself. I think those feelings lead to a saddened state in which I wallow around in for a few days. Then by Monday, I am usually on my way back up and can have a good 10 days before it starts over. I have picked up my running and biking again and that really helps. After cycle #4, yesterday, I did not have to go back and get the Newlastin shot that helps boost my white blood cells. They have remained high – because of the shot, and since it was my last cycle I didn’t need it. So I am very curious to see how much of my side effects were the shot or the actually chemo drugs. Because as of right now, I am doing better than the last 2 cycles. Alyssa has been in VBS all week, so this morning me and lil’ girls ran a few errands then watched Alyssa’s final day program and had lunch with Ethan. It has been a busy day and I still feel good. Hopefully it will continue through the weekend.

I will start round 2 in two weeks which is supposed to be more tolerable. And I will have 3 weeks between each treatment so that will allow for more good days. We have a lot of family and friends coming to visit us this summer since we can’t make it back to Texas. And we are hoping to take a little vacation in late July.

So that is the drug story, now you are all wondering about Julie’s hair – aren’t you? After cycle #1 we shaved it off. Ethan did a fabulous job for his first cut and the girls came and went and watched. They asked questions and Alyssa was concerned what people would think of me with no hair, but in all they took it like champs. We shared a few emotional moments in the cutting process, but it was just another step in the journey. Over the last 4 weeks, I have seen it go from  your typical summer crew cut to almost completely bald. It just slowly came out and each day it would seem a little more. I do not enjoy walking past the mirror, but it is what it is. I am thankful that I can walk around the house and have even ventured in the yard with nothing on my head. Imagine wearing a hat all day long, sometimes your head just needs to breathe. The girls don’t seem to mind and when people are in my house, get ready because you might see the full monty [head]. But when I go out, I have lots of options. I have made a few, bought some fabric that I can just tie around my head, had accessories given to me to dress it up and the latest…. well, see for yourself.

I never thought I would want a wig, but I just love it. I was just missing hair. I got over the self-conscience feeling of being out and this is just for me. Who knows maybe I will just keep the color. Thanks for checking in and I will keep you updated as treatment and hairstyles continue. Love you, friends.

These are my running girls, AKA: Hot Mamas. We trained through the winter, through a time-change, and we were prepared to run together and accomplish this goal as a team. After my diagnosis (ugh, hate that word), I knew I wouldn’t be able to run this half-marathon that we all were looking forward to. But less than 24 hours after my surgery, no rain, thunder, or threat of tornado was going to keep me from watching my girls run their race. They have been with me every step of my “race”, and I was there to support them this day.

The best part was seeing them running in shirts for me. The front said IMMA BE… (We dig that song) and the back said RUNNING4JULIE. Thank you girls for keeping me in the race with you. It was hard to find all of you, but the cheers and hugs I got when you saw me, made it all worth it. It confirmed that this race really was for me. And I don’t care how much you hated this course, we will all be doing it together next year.

And to my running partner, my encourager, my friend Jessica. It killed me to see you running by yourself. Yes, I wanted to run that race for myself, but I wanted to be there for you too. But I know that the “training” we did for 5 months was not for that 1/2 marathon. It was for the “marathon” that I have ahead of me. I am so proud of you for pushing through that race, and for finishing strong at the end…even better that your last one. And that is where I hope to be at the end of my race. I want to say I finished this year strong, and that I am a more complete Julie in the end. And I am now coining the phrase, “we will always have Don.” Love you, girl.

Alyssa, Mayson, Karis, & Molly

Alyssa and Mayson

This weekend some MOPS girls and I ran in the Nashville Zoo Run Run. There was a costume contest so we made a plan and did a great job with the tiger costumes. I understand the funny looks we got as we tried to wait for a table at Chuys afterwards, but I don’t know why the other runners thought we were so odd at the race. With no one else dressed up, we thought we were easily the winners, but we only got honorable mention. Some “cheetah” dressed in…well really only cheetah paint and shorts won instead.

It was amazing to me how fast you start the race and don’t realize it. We were near the front of the start and began to get passed by lots of people. We looked at our watch and we were not going slow at all, but almost 2 minutes faster than our average pace. I can’t imagine what kind of rivalry you get into with other runners with 13 miles to run, because in just 3 miles, I had made a few enemies. (It was a very narrow and windy path) In the end, I did great, thanks to trying to catch Jessica most of the way. I finished 12th in my bracket and ran a 26:17. Not bad for the first time. I think I will have to slow down to my normal pace for a longer race though, I didn’t even have enough in me for that surge of adrenaline that is supposed to hit toward the finish line. Preparing to run a 10K in February now.

There was a 3″ prediction for this morning so school was canceled last night. When we woke this morning to see nothing, we were a little bummed. Shortly after breakfast it started falling and we had a good snow for most of the day.

I finally let them out in it and they had a good 20 minutes of fun. Alyssa insisted that she didn’t need a hat or even socks, but Mommy turned out to be right in the end. They came in, bundled up and had some hot chocolate to warm up. Ethan came home early to make sure he didn’t get stuck in the next freeze coming and of course had to take care of his birds. They are definitely the best fed birds in town. Lucky for us, school is closed tomorrow too, so more of this family togetherness!

I enjoy taking pictures. I enjoy scrapbooking. I enjoy the hours that I can spend at a desk hand cutting and assembling my girls’ life onto pages. The problem really is that I do not feel I have the time for that. My last full page in an album is Megan’s 1st birthday. And only because I skipped from month 4 to one year. Audrey has hundreds of photos organized in iPhoto, but not a single print has been made. (Okay, maybe 2 for frames) I feel behind. I feel guilty. I feel full of intentions but left with nothing to show at the end of another year.

After browsing a bit, I found Project Life. I am excited about this. My husband rolled his eyes wondering why I can spend $39 whenever I want, but he has to ask permission to go to lunch. But deep down, he wants our lives documented. I know he does. The basic idea is to capture a photo a day and journal about it. The designs are done for you and you can add as little or as much to it. I want to capture those everyday things. That messy room after Megan has been quiet for 1 whole hour. That smile that is missing a few teeth. And that face covered in Oma’s famous spaghetti sauce. I don’t want to just frame those photos that capture the cuteness of my child on a certain day, but I want to frame all the moments that make up that child.

Since the kit is on back order right now, I am keeping the photo and journals on my computer. (I will  probably do it that way anyway.) When I get a few weeks done, I will post some photos for you. But for now, here is my examples for day 1 and day 2 of January.

* Alyssa is so much like her Daddy sometimes. She created these letters by herself, and of course spelled something sweet. Thank goodness I have an empty spot on the mantle for her to showcase her work. *

* I found this pattern online and I was excited to see it in the mail. I absolutely love this dress and can’t wait to get started on one for Megan and a version of it for Audrey and maybe even Alyssa. Now for fabric.*

This year’s Christmas story was read by Papa and we tried to act it out with our little people. Each year we think of a better way to do it (like last year I glued all the garb on each person) and next year we need a board. Alyssa and Megan took their turn retelling the story and it makes my heart feel good to hear them tell what they know to be truth.

Christmas morning we did stockings and gifts, a big breakfast, Christmas lunch and all rested with the Polar Express. It has been a great Christmas and we were all sad to see Nana and Papa leave today. More Pics

I don’t know about you, but for the last 10 years, I have had a dreary picture of Portland, OR. My roommate from ACU lives there and the few times I have visited apparently were at the wrong time of the year. I thought it just rained there. Well, this visit proved me wrong…really wrong. It was absolutely beautiful. I took my first, and probably last, solo trip to visit Melissa, Jeff and baby McKinley. I was hesitant leaving my girls, especially a nursing Audrey, and not looking forward to the full day of traveling that it takes to get there. But I had a great time with my friends. Without Audrey, I was actually able to help with McKinley, chill out for 3 good days, and enjoy some fabulous dinners from Jeff. Little McKinley is almost 2 months old and is doing good. We went to get her first shots and I am glad I was there for support because I think it was tougher on mommy than baby. We shared some quality time almost everyday at 6:30am since I was up and so was she. I am glad that Ethan pushed me to go even though it meant he took the week off from work and was home with all the girls. I can tell that just a few days with Daddy makes their hearts grow fonder…of him that is. And I had an unforgettable time with my friend.

We celebrated Alyssa’s birthday a little early this year since we are traveling to Houston this week. She has been wanting a slumber party for awhile and we finally did it. There were only 2 other girls so it was very manageable. They were all so nice to let Megan tag along all night too. They both have younger sisters so they probably didn’t even notice. We had a silly string fight which turned more into “lets just spray the silly string all over the yard then roll it all up into a gooey ball of grossness,” the girls dressed up as what they called “fashion models,” we painted nails and had popcorn and a movie. They had alot of fun together and were all three asleep by 10:45pm. Those who have slumbered with Alyssa in the past will not be surprised that she was the last one awake. They got up about 7 am and went downstairs to color at the table all by themselves. We had a great party and are blessed to have good friends to celebrate with us this year. See all pics