My Mustard Seed

It’s been 367 days since I posted on the blog. Don’t let the title fool you, it says the Whaleys on it, it’s really Julie’s blog. But today I feel the need to post something. Today is a big day, PET and CAT scans today to see if the cancer has spread to other parts of her body. I admit to being worried. Over the last few days I’ve allowed too many what-ifs and negative possibilities to crowd my mind. I have not lived as though this is the day the Lord has made, and I have not lived with confidence. I’ve struggled. What I’ve realized is that not that my mind wanders, and the details of where it goes aren’t important, but that those seeds of doubt cloud so many other things.

I think about Jonah. I think of his story as one of disobedience, but what if it’s really about doubt. What happened before the disobedience, the defiance, the anger? How many times did Jonah ask himself – what if they don’t listen to me? – what if I’m not strong enough – what if they kill me? How did all the doubt affect his decisions? Can one drop of doubt taint a full bucket of faith? So today I am reminded to take every thought captive to Christ, my supernatural thought filter, and to trust in the Lord’s sovereignty over our lives. I am reminded that He cared for and protected Jonah even through his doubt.

So here is my prayer for today.

Lord may you reign over our lives, and may we lovingly submit to your will. Allow me to give myself in service unselfishly. Allow me to love joyfully. Allow me to live today without worrying about the future. Give me the strength to trust in you through all the news and results. I ask you Father for good results, for the cancer to be contained, for Julie to be strong and that through all things you will be glorified. Today take my mustard seed and grow it. I pray all these things through my savior Jesus Christ, Amen.

On another note, I noticed something important. Some people marry up in money or looks or smarts. I married up in faith and have been eternally blessed because of it. My wife has a faith that I admire, and I long for her confidence. Her steadfast devotion has often been the inspiration I need when things seem difficult. Thank you baby.

Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

17 thoughts on “My Mustard Seed

  1. Hi Ethan,

    I’m Clint Merrill’s wife. I’ve been reading “Julie’s blog” for a few weeks now. I have been praying for Julie and for you and the children every night. I admire Julie’s faith and strength. And I often think of and pray for you as well. I’m glad you posted something. Now I know how to pray for you. Thank you to you two for being so open and sharing your trials, your thoughts and, god willing, your victories on this blog. It’s an amazing testimony.

  2. may the Lord’s love rain down upon you that you may feel it and may you feel our love & belief & faith supporting your sweet family

  3. EE – so good to hear your thoughts on here. It was so good to hear Julie’s voice last night when I called. Next time I think I’ll call and talk to you. I miss you guys. We love you and we are praying for you!

  4. So glad you can be transparent and share this! It’s the hurts, the tender parts we like to hide, but sometimes it’s thru our vulnerabilities that the most amazing work can be done! Lifting you all up in prayer today and believing in miracles.

  5. Hi Ethan and Julie. Just started wondering about you two about a month ago. I think God was trying to tell me to check in with you and Julie B. sent me this link. I am praying so hard for you two and the girls. Your blog is a wonderful account of the trials of life and how Christians make it through with God. Please know that everything in my being wants for you the best.

  6. Your family is in my prayers. And while I can’t stand mustard I am so grateful for the lesson of the mustard seed God gave us. May He bless you all and we will praise Him.

  7. I found this blog on another friend’s site and was hooked after reading about your family’s awesome faith when Noah was taken home. I actually hadn’t read in a few months but checked back last week and now I’m hooked again, reading about your family’s awesome faith. God keeps putting you in my mind to pray so know that there is a mom in Seattle who prays for you guys a few times a day and will continue to do so. Thank you for sharing and teaching and being open with all of us.

  8. We continue to pray for you all. May God answer your prayer tenfold and fill you with peace during this time. We love you – Butch and Melanie

  9. Sis Julie, I love to read your blog, recommended by a friend. I have been following your blog since Noah’s birth.
    You are a great wife and mother. I admire your faith and you have really encouraged me in many ways. Julie, you are always in my prayers. Trust in the Lord.

  10. Your family is such a source of inspiration and encouragement to us. We pray for all of you constantly.

  11. yay, finally some great news ! Saw the fccc post with the news of no cancer seen in scans. Will keep praying ! And thank you God !

  12. Thanks for posting Ethan. You both are a witness to me. I needed to hear that as much as you needed to write it.

    Mel Mel arrived in Spokane safe. McKinley and I are hanging in here without her. I will be on my knees tomorrow morning lifting you all up to God.

    God bless!

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