Back in the day, I would have never posted something like this before I was successful. I would never admit to doing something as a mom that was crazy, spontaneous or just not well planned. I am sure because I didn’t want to come across like I didn’t know what I was doing. But lets be honest, what mom really knows what she is doing? Isn’t half our job to just make stuff up? Well, by now, child #3, I don’t care. If we fail miserably at potty training at 27 months old, I am okay with that. But I think she is ready. I stocked up on a few training essentials, we have an extra day to train with President’s Day on Monday, and frankly, I think 7 years, 8 months, 13 days is enough of diapers.

Audrey has been sitting successfully on the potty for several days in a row now and actually is excited about it. So, “Toilet Training in less than a Day in hand”, let’s see if we can go 3 for 3.

What is cuter than a little bum in panties?

The series of emotions that come with moving a strong-willed, two year old to a toddler bed. I have moved all the girls to this toddler bed before stepping up to the big bed. And I moved the other two at 20 months and 22 months. So, I thought, piece of cake (hmm… yum, I have chocolate cake in the kitchen) Audrey is older than them, they did fine, lets do this. Like, yes, I walked past the toddler bed in pieces in the attic on Tuesday and just thought that was the exact thing I needed to do that day. It is always fun for me to put things like the toddler bed together. It is the beginning of a new phase, the end of an old. The crib came down and made its way to the garage without tears from anyone in this house. It was the best $50 we spent on our babies, but I am happy to see it go.

Audrey and Megan are excited. They watch and wait while I put the bed together, just waiting for the chance to play on it.

Audrey takes her first nap in the bed and does quiet well. She came out one time, but then stayed in bed and took her normal nap. When the night came, we read books as normal and sang our songs.

Then came patience. I think we lost track of how many times she got out of bed and came out of her room that night, but it was more than I wanted to admit. (Crazy child with a mind her own. Why can’t she fall into the plan laid out for her?) From my one experience with the Super Nanny, I took her hand, led her back through her dark room and placed her in bed. Closed her door and sat.

I sat on this stool, just waiting for the next time. Over and over, until she got mad enough and cried herself down. All in all, she did well. Naps have continued to be easier and bedtime has been a battle. But it was after her 6:30 am wake and walk down the hall this morning into her sister’s room, that I began to regret my decision. Yes, she is ready and eventually we will have to make the transition, but with all going on in my house right now, maybe the stress at bedtime is not worth it. Could I put the crib back in and expect her to stay in it? Or would she then started to climb out though she never did before?

I decided against that idea. I made my choice and am determined to stick it out and make it work. And I put a child lock on the inside of her door tonight. So now it will work. She can’t get out. Calm down, all you crazy people who think this is wrong. It is perfectly safe…. we did it with Alyssa too and she is fine. For now, I see hope. Hope that she will stay in her bed (or at least her room) tonight. And hope that I will not wake to the sound of footsteps down the hall. But hope that this is the beginning of her journey to being a kid!

You are from God. I tell myself  as you are climbing out of the shopping basket, into other people’s strollers, on the counter or the kitchen table. You are a blessing. I tell myself as you are stomping your feet in frustration, hitting your sister or making growling noises in anger. It is only a stage. I tell myself as you are running through a parking lot ignoring my plea to stop or shoving your food across the table and refusing to eat. And I say, oh, how I love you as we rock before bed, watching you name the objects you didn’t know a year ago, and singing Twinkle Twinkle together. You tell me “no bed, mommy”, you whine for  milk, and then we rock. You eventually lay your head on my shoulder, trying to adjust so that your big 2 year old body can fit in my arms, and finally give in. It is in that moment that I can truly thank God for you and your zeal for life. I can thank God for knowing the end while I was stuck in the pain of losing Noah. I thank Him for completing our family in a way that only He could. Little Audi, you wear me out,  you frustrate me beyond words. But you are precious to me. My baby. You make the whole family laugh. You make your Daddy smile. You bring fun and joy into this family. You stand out in the crowd with your white hair. Your beautiful grin each morning makes me want to cover you in kisses. I love you. And a year from now, as I post your 3rd birthday, I will miss the sweetness of this age. And then quietly thank God again for bringing me through it.

We are one week into this one year old thing. Audrey has successfully moved to whole milk, but we are working on the cup vs. the bottle. Amazing how with that first child, I was so focused about getting her where she needed to be at the right time. This time the bottle is so easy, so why sit there with her forcing the cup? She has always been a good sleeper and continues to do about 11-12 hours at night and still takes 2 naps a day. She loves to eat. I can spend 5 minutes cutting up green beans, chicken, and some fruit and put it on her plate thinking – “ok, that will last for a bit, I will get my lunch now. ” Nope. This girl can scarf it down. She is in the 25% weight, which I will totally take, and she is off the chart in height. She is over 2 inches taller than Alyssa or Megan at one year. She can stand on her own from the floor and takes a few steps, but prefers to crawl still. Again… first kid I would have cared. And I had to stretch the truth when they asked me if she can say two words. Come on,  two words… surely she can say two words… Dada and… Does va-va count? She is a joy. She is happy. She is funny. She copies my laugh, she roars like a tiger. She gives open-mouthed kisses, and loves LOVES her stuffed bunny. I think this is the high life. These next months are my favorite and I hope I can truly enjoy them for what they are.

We had a little party for Audrey last week and here are some pics from the occasion. Like I said, she likes to eat!

From I Love You So…

…I love you as BRILLANT
as each sparkling star,
and as WAY OUT as space,
I love you THAT far.

I love you as GIGANTIC
as a great lion’s roar,
and as DEEP as the ocean,
I love you MUCH more…

You’re my SWEETIE, my dear,
my SMILE and laughter.

You’re my PLAYMATE for always,
and my JOY ever after.

Happy Birthday to my littlest girl.

More awesome pics by Amanda Mankin.