If you are randomly checking up on the Whaley family…get ready. If you have been anxiously clicking refresh for the past few days, I have finally moved on to the blog.

This blog began under a different name and for different circumstances. It was started in May of 2005 by my brother, Steve. It was a way to keep all informed of the events surrounding Noah. It has been through tough times, fun times, anxious and fearful times as we awaited the birth of 2 more children, and now it has taken another turn.

I have Stage 1 breast cancer. There is a 1cm tumor that mostly consists of ductal carcinoma in situ (DCIS). Defined as cancer that starts in cells in the milk passages (ducts) and does not penetrate the duct walls into the surrounding tissue; This is a highly curable form of breast cancer that is treated with surgery or surgery plus radiation therapy. However, at the center of this area are cancer cells. The DCIS is a pre-cancerous, non-invasive tissue. But to say I have DCIS is not accurate, because that is considered Stage 0. The fact that there is cancer in the middle moves me to Stage 1.

We have two choices, both recommended by the doctor and both highly successful for treating the cancer.
1. Breast conservation therapy
Surgery to remove a breast cancer and a small amount of normal tissue around the cancer without removing any other part of the breast. I would have sentinel node biopsy (SNB) done during the surgery. They would inject a dye into the tumor site at surgery and the first (sentinel) node that picks up the dye is removed and biopsied. If the node is cancer-free, few nodes are removed. If the first few removed are cancerous, I would move into a different stage of cancer based on where it has spread. Following the surgery, radiation therapy would be necessary for 30 a day for 5-6 weeks.

2. Simple Mastectomy
Surgery to remove all or part of the breast and sometimes other tissue. Radiation would not be necessary, and I have the option of breast reconstruction at the time of the mastectomy. The SNB would still be done to determine the number of lymph nodes effected.

At this point, Ethan and I are doing reading and research about which option is best for us. We have met with a plastic surgeon and will probably meet with a radiation oncologist and my doctor again to gather as much info as possible. Those are the facts, as best as I can understand and put all this medical mumbo jumbo into Julie terms.

So where am I? My desk right here is a mess, papers of all kinds stacked up and really getting in my way right now. The floor needs vacuuming and I am sure my kids would love some interaction from their mother. I have normal activities to resume, but feel stuck in this hole. Someone handed me a card today that said, “You have breast cancer” and I don’t know how to just let that go. It is small. It is early. It is highly curable. But right now there is cancer in my body. I have been strong. Believe me, I am trying my best not to get emotional about this, there is enough of you out there for that. But how does one take this news? So, I guess for now it is sinking in. The idea is creeping in, usually about 5 am in the morning. I wake up, see the sun begin to rise and think “Ahhh, another day…. oh, shit, I have cancer.”

What I want you to know: I am okay. God has tested me before, I know what it feels like. I also believe and like the words of Paul that my brother, Brad sent me:

1 Corinthians 12:9-10
But he [God] said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I am not sure about the delight part yet, but I will have strength through this that comes from him and not from me. And, I have the best support group here in Spring Hill, TN that I could ever wish for. I have friends who talk with me, ask me how I am, ask how they can help, take my children at a moments notice. Friends who have prayed over me and prayed for me. Friends who know exactly how I feel and friends who want to just walk beside me. I know many of you want to be here by my side. Want to give me a hug. But know that those needs are being met by the people that God purposely brought into my life just for this time.

Ethan and I would appreciate continued prayers for our strength, upcoming conversations with Alyssa, decisions about surgery and prayers that it has not spread into the lymph nodes.

Alyssa, Mayson, Karis, & Molly

Alyssa and Mayson

It has only been 2 weeks since an update and to some people’s expectations, apparently that is way too long. So let me catch you up — if you are there, surely someone is: mom? ann? bev?

Two weeks ago Audrey was dedicated at Harpeth Community Church. The other little baby on stage with us, well, his name was Noah. I like this photo with all the hands stretched out toward us, committing their support to help us raise her to follow God. (Think out of your comfort zone for you CofC’ers) The girls all did good on stage, but I think Megan stole the show swinging her beads in circles. This may be the only photo where she looked serious and was not scowling at the audience. And though Mommy did not take a single photo of Audrey that morning, trust me, she did look cute.

Around the House:

While most families are play Wii, we are playing the real old-school games on N64. Alyssa has become really good. She races, plays a Ms PacMan game and Super Mario 64. And for now, Megan loves to just watch her. And when I play, she usually beats me. When I question it, Ethan responds, “Let’s be honest here, games were never really your forte.”

Well, I will tell you what is my forte, and that is baking stuff that is bad for me then running it off. We fried up some donuts for Valentines breakfast and much to my surprise, they were tasty. I may never need a donut shop again. And to offset my horrible eating habits, I have been running. I am in a group with some MOPS girls and we try to run few times a week and get in a long run together on Saturday. But with the weather lately, it is hard. We are up to 6 miles and have a 10K in two weeks. It has been very enjoyable for me. Lacing up the shoes, layering up the body for 28 degree weather, strapping on my new GPS watch and hitting the pavement – usually at 6am. The goal is the Nashville Half-Marathon in April.

And last up was Ethan’s birthday. We have been on a serious Dave Ramsey inspired budget this year, so just going out to eat was a treat for us all (or maybe just me!). We followed it up with my annual Carrot Cake and some good friends for company. Happy 33 to Ethan. Can you believe he is so OLD?

And here is my other project. I am attempting a Photo a Day for 2010 and this is the kit I bought. Here are a few of the pages, click on the photos if you want to see details.

Growing up in Houston, I have never had this much fun in the snow. Ok, I think I went skiing as a kid once, and remember a photo of me riding in a gondola, and it snowed once in 1987 and I ate snow off our pool lounger — but beyond that don’t remember anything like this.

Friday was a snow day, and I heard it was the most snow we have had since 2003. It snowed most of Friday, froze that night and Saturday everything was coated in white with a top layer of ice. We tried to get out for church today, but it didn’t look good. Later today the sun came out and we wanted to play. Ethan found a piece of old wood and made a sled out of it and it worked for a bit. Then we borrowed a friend’s discs and headed to the elementary school where we heard there was some good sledding. Audrey pretended to take a nap at our neighbors and we had a blast. Alyssa was hesitant at first, but after the first time she was fine. Megan I think will be the adventurous one. First time down, all by herself, she had a look of panic and shear fun in one. I’ll admit, I kept riding with her just so I could play too. Now, school is canceled for Monday too. I sure wish we had some ski gear for these kids so we could play without getting wet…and next time we would be ready for some real skiing. It was a great day!

This weekend some MOPS girls and I ran in the Nashville Zoo Run Run. There was a costume contest so we made a plan and did a great job with the tiger costumes. I understand the funny looks we got as we tried to wait for a table at Chuys afterwards, but I don’t know why the other runners thought we were so odd at the race. With no one else dressed up, we thought we were easily the winners, but we only got honorable mention. Some “cheetah” dressed in…well really only cheetah paint and shorts won instead.

It was amazing to me how fast you start the race and don’t realize it. We were near the front of the start and began to get passed by lots of people. We looked at our watch and we were not going slow at all, but almost 2 minutes faster than our average pace. I can’t imagine what kind of rivalry you get into with other runners with 13 miles to run, because in just 3 miles, I had made a few enemies. (It was a very narrow and windy path) In the end, I did great, thanks to trying to catch Jessica most of the way. I finished 12th in my bracket and ran a 26:17. Not bad for the first time. I think I will have to slow down to my normal pace for a longer race though, I didn’t even have enough in me for that surge of adrenaline that is supposed to hit toward the finish line. Preparing to run a 10K in February now.

Watched your video this morning, sweet boy. I am missing what it would have been like to know you. To hold you. To comfort, play and experience life with you. You have left a hole in my heart.

It has been almost 3 full days of snow falling. We finally got everyone dressed to do some real playing. There wasn’t a lot on the ground and it was too dry to actually pack, but still fun.

There was a 3″ prediction for this morning so school was canceled last night. When we woke this morning to see nothing, we were a little bummed. Shortly after breakfast it started falling and we had a good snow for most of the day.

I finally let them out in it and they had a good 20 minutes of fun. Alyssa insisted that she didn’t need a hat or even socks, but Mommy turned out to be right in the end. They came in, bundled up and had some hot chocolate to warm up. Ethan came home early to make sure he didn’t get stuck in the next freeze coming and of course had to take care of his birds. They are definitely the best fed birds in town. Lucky for us, school is closed tomorrow too, so more of this family togetherness!

I enjoy taking pictures. I enjoy scrapbooking. I enjoy the hours that I can spend at a desk hand cutting and assembling my girls’ life onto pages. The problem really is that I do not feel I have the time for that. My last full page in an album is Megan’s 1st birthday. And only because I skipped from month 4 to one year. Audrey has hundreds of photos organized in iPhoto, but not a single print has been made. (Okay, maybe 2 for frames) I feel behind. I feel guilty. I feel full of intentions but left with nothing to show at the end of another year.

After browsing a bit, I found Project Life. I am excited about this. My husband rolled his eyes wondering why I can spend $39 whenever I want, but he has to ask permission to go to lunch. But deep down, he wants our lives documented. I know he does. The basic idea is to capture a photo a day and journal about it. The designs are done for you and you can add as little or as much to it. I want to capture those everyday things. That messy room after Megan has been quiet for 1 whole hour. That smile that is missing a few teeth. And that face covered in Oma’s famous spaghetti sauce. I don’t want to just frame those photos that capture the cuteness of my child on a certain day, but I want to frame all the moments that make up that child.

Since the kit is on back order right now, I am keeping the photo and journals on my computer. (I will  probably do it that way anyway.) When I get a few weeks done, I will post some photos for you. But for now, here is my examples for day 1 and day 2 of January.

* Alyssa is so much like her Daddy sometimes. She created these letters by herself, and of course spelled something sweet. Thank goodness I have an empty spot on the mantle for her to showcase her work. *

* I found this pattern online and I was excited to see it in the mail. I absolutely love this dress and can’t wait to get started on one for Megan and a version of it for Audrey and maybe even Alyssa. Now for fabric.*

This year’s Christmas story was read by Papa and we tried to act it out with our little people. Each year we think of a better way to do it (like last year I glued all the garb on each person) and next year we need a board. Alyssa and Megan took their turn retelling the story and it makes my heart feel good to hear them tell what they know to be truth.

Christmas morning we did stockings and gifts, a big breakfast, Christmas lunch and all rested with the Polar Express. It has been a great Christmas and we were all sad to see Nana and Papa leave today. More Pics